I noticed one upscale Costco location (not my home store, but the one near my work) has just started selling a new Kirkland TP that is unit/unit identical to the Charmin, which we buy. $14.99 for 30 230 sheet rolls. This new Kirkland pack is in pink/purple plastic wrap and claims to be their “softest, thickest” ever. JUST bought it yesterday so I haven’t used it yet but will once the Charmin runs out. It passed the squeeze test and seems just like Charmin in appearance. Looking forward to saving $5/pack at our house…I always thought the Kirkland TP y’all are raving about or even the new stuff that you’re complaining about were terrible cut-rate products. You need a ball of it to wipe effectively without tearing through and poking your own arse. And big wads of TP are going to clog a sewer line, especially if it’s dense/durable paper that when whetted will form an inaccessible cellulosic ball that can’t be quickly broken down.
As a general wiping tip I’ll suggest you practice what I do and taught my kids to do: 4-squares, folded twice, three fingers, wipe once, fold again, wipe again. I have a big hairy male butt and if it works for me there’s no reason it can’t work for others…if you’re soiling yourself that bad while taking the Browns to the Super Bowl, then try realigning your booty on the toilet so that last section of colon is aiming straight down and pull those cheeks apart. Put some thought into it and maybe the clogged drain problem goes away…I’d be hesitant to simply blame the TP when so much other stuff goes down the drain, and the fact that the TP doesn’t put itself there, a human or pet does that. It’s entirely possible guests hate your TP choice and require wads of it to wipe and it’s not your fault other than making a bad purchase.