Poor and Not Proud Neighbor

My neighbor called today.  She said she’s short cash and needed help.  She needed to borrow $53.00.  So I told her to come over.  I know her financial situation. I couldn’t say no.

She came over with an empty bottle of beer.  She gave me the bottle and asked me to buy her 50 bottles of that beer for her 50th birthday. It was some kind of funky (cheap) beer from 99 Cents only store.

Then she tried to haggle the amount of money she can borrow.  We settled at $63.00, and I gave her the cash.  She cut me a post dated check.  I made a statement that there would be a good chance her check will bounce.  I told her I will talk to her before I cash it.

Then she saw my tequila and wine.  I offered her my booze that I never drink.  My Tequila was 4+ years old.  She was downing shot after shot.

Then she read my palm and told me I will become disabled in a few years and die in 20 years.  I thought that was pretty messed up. 

At 8:54pm she said she was hungry that she didn’t eat anything the whole day.  She asked me if I had any food in the house. Since I was not ready for a guest, I offered to take her out to a fast food restaurant.  There, she started to haggle which restaurant I can take her.  She wanted me to take her to a fancier restaurant.  "It’s 8:54pm, everything will close in 6 minutes", I said.  But, she asked me to call the restaurant and order a dinner to pick up.  She was very excited about free meal. She rushed me to hurry up and make a phone call.  What she was asking was not realistic.

Everything I try to do for her, she was haggling to get more.

That’s when I told her politely that she should go back to her own apartment and cook for herself.  "I can’t believe I’m being kicked out" she cried.

I gave her the opened bottle of wine, which made her happy.  Then she asked me if she could take tequila as well. This time I said "No" in more firm manner.

Then she asked me if she could take my hat.  And she muscled her way to my bedroom and saw 30 jars of Yankee Candles.  She told me she wanted to take a candle.  She was drunk, and she was about to grab my candles (glass jars). So, I had to stop her.

At this point we were literally pushing and shoving each other.  She was heavier than I was, so I had to really fight her.  And she was giving everything she’s got to get to my candles.  At one point we fell on the carpet, still wrestling to gain control of each other.  It was a nightmare. I couldn’t believe how quickly it became a wrestling match.  She looked around for something to take.  She grabbed my camera and asked if she can keep it.  I snatched the camera off her hand.

I propped her up an took her to my car.  I was afraid she would puck in my car.  I took her to her apartment and got the heck out of there.

The End

PS. Don’t worry, it was not that bad.  She was just drunk.

Update: I took the check to her bank and successfully cashed it.